The Middle Wednesday September 26 2012

Season 4 Episode 1 "Last Whiff of Summer" 

-Frankie and Mike want to give the kids a special summer.

-Mike announces that Axl is his favourite child.

-The kids announce that Mike is their favourite parent

-Axl goes to summer school.

-Brick tries to grow the biggest tomato

-Sue tries to get attention

Notes: 

The Middle has been so consistent for its first three years I was starting to wonder if the consistency would hold it back.

I was getting nervous about whether the season premiere tonight would be another great episode or just more of the same.

It was more of the same.

Not that that's a bad thing, I love The Middle. I love the cast,  I love the unvarnished look at teenaged existence and I love the style of the show's humour.

And also the show just goes down really easily, like Friends reruns.

This episode went down really easily too.

The cast delivered their usual great performances. There were slices of everyday suburban activities dressed up to be a little more ridiculous than they really are. Sue did her little scream.

And the episode was an hour, which can seem like an eternity when a show's not going well, and that hour went by very smoothly.

Something about it just didn't come together for me though. I didn't find myself laughing out loud for an hour.

I still liked it and will keep watching it (and recommending it) but I hope it hasn't fallen into a predictable pattern that sucks its energy out.

There were two great physical comedy bits: the first one when Axl is doing pec flies with the milk jugs; that was awesome and the second was when Sue is on the swing and it breaks. Classic Sue.

The episode was worth it just for those two parts. 

MVP: The cast gave a great performance, which makes it hard to choose a standout but for some reason I'll choose Axl. There's episodes where he just nails his character more than usual and I can't explain why. I felt he nailed it tonight.

Best Line: "I call it the 'Summer of Sue and Dad' survey, which when abbreviated spells "SO SAD" but it's not."

Grade: A solid B.

Modern Family September 26 2012

Season 4 Episode 1 "Bringing Up Baby" 

Notes:

This was the season premier of Modern Family and I thought it was OK. But it seemed like just another episode of a show, not like the big deal you expect from a season premiere.

I'm looking for a reason to get excited about this show again because even though it's still funny and I still like it, it's been spinning its wheels for a long time (as in the entire third season).

It lacks a story or any development of the characters.

Everything and everyone in the show is great, it's just been waiting for a shot in the arm.

This episode was not that.

It was a good episode and I'm hopeful that the idea of having a story that must continue and that must have consequences for the characters and change the show's backdrop (Gloria's pregnancy and the eventual birth of the baby) will give the show something to focus on creatively.

I thought it was a good sign that at the end of the episode they bumped the timeline up quite suddenly from just after last season's finale to several months later with Gloria in the middle of her pregnancy, Cam and Mitchell having already gone to London and come back and Phil with a beard. I think this sudden leap ahead shows a willingness for the show to move forward, something it hasn't done in a long time.

So here's hoping for a comeback.

MVP: I don't know why, but I found Mitchell was a standout this time. Maybe because I usually find him irritating (I think that's intentional) and this time I found him sympathetic. Or maybe it's just because that one change in him added to the feeling that the characters might move ahead.

Best Line: "It works with my falcon."

Grade: B+

The Neighbors September 26 2012

Season 1 Episode 1 "Pilot" 


Here is the promo for the series.

Notes:

This show is not good.

It's not the worst but it's not actually good.

It's hard to imagine what could go wrong unless you think the premise of aliens trying to blend in with humans as though they were regular suburban Americans is worn out as a premise.

Yes, if you thought Alien Nation, 3rd Rock From the Sun, V, and the remake of V hadn't done everything there is to do with the aliens-try-to-blend-in-with-human-society-but-there's-so-many-cultural-differences-all-these-unusual-situations-take-place genre then you might like this show. Yes, this is your sequel.

Oh, I forgot to mention Coneheads in that list!

If you think this sounds like a tired-out old premise and you don't like to be retold a bunch of old jokes from the 90's you won't like this show.

There's nothing technically wrong with the production of The Neighbors. The cast gives quite good performances, the director gave it everything there was to put into it (which is not much), the production design looks nice and feels somewhat realistic (considering what the show's about) but the idea behind the show and the script and everything about it conceptually is old.

They're trying so hard to revive old sitcom humour that they've actually found a premise in the alien culture to go back in time and revive the old humour genre where the wife is supposed to obey the husband but she's too rebellious and they get in all kinds of arguments about her disrespect toward him.

It's a new take on that humour genre (after all this time it's about alien culture). But the wife-disobeys-husband/husband-doesn't-knowwhy-wife-can't-do-as-she's-told jokes are mostly the same with just some details changed around the edges.

The moral of the story is that The Neighbors is trying really hard to reach back into the past and I'm not sure why.

What was the idea when they gave this idea the green light?

I guess if you look at some of TV's biggest shows like CSI and Two and A Half Men, the formula of rehashing things people have seen a million times and then putting a shiny production veneer on it seems to work so maybe The Neighbors will find an audience. After all, most CSI's are just take-offs of other CSI's and people watch them like crazy.

There's a few funny little moments like how the neighbours are a white dad, a black mom and they have an asian son named "Reggie Jackson" and there was one quite funny part with a statue made out of toothpicks.

MVP: Jamie Gertz was really good but to me Toks Olagundoye was the star as the wife of the leader of the aliens. If I don't miss my guess, there are casting agents all over Hollywood calling her right now with offers for when this show goes off the air.

Best Line: "The eyes are real".

Grade: C

Suburgatory February 22 2012

Season 1 Episode 15 "Fire With Fire" 


Dalia manipulates Lisa to bother Tessa

Dallas makes divorce look so glamourous that Noah's wife wants a divorce too... until he wins her back.

George is jealous about Dallas's new boyfriend.

Notes:


This was a good episode. It followed a lot of old sitcom plots but the show's cast pulled it off.

It's starting to remind me a bit of a sitcom version of Desperate Housewives, especially the part where Noah's wife is standing over him at the table and is bleeding on his omelette. That part was gross but hilarious.

A long time ago it was announced that Mike Sorrentino (that's The Situation) would be doing an episode of Suburgatory and I got nervous. Well the episode was tonight and it turned out just to be a cameo appearance as Dalia's tacky ex-boyfriend who is also the DJ at the school dance. It was actually pretty funny.

I loved Wilmer Valderrama as Yoni, Dallas's new boyfriend.

One more thing. I have no idea what Yakult is except that Dallas said it's her favourite yogurt beverage. I don't know if it even exists in Canada or whatever. So I Googled it. You can see the Wikipedia entry for it here.

MVP: Noah. I love Alan Tudyk and he was all over this one. Although I didn't like his greasy club hair look.

Best Line: Dalia: Almost done... There. Now your eyelashes aren't so stumpy.

Grade: A-

Happy Endings February 22 2012

Season 2 Episode 15 "The Butterfly Effect Effect"


Penny, Dave and Alex long for spring and wait for Jane and Brad's annual argument to denote the change of season as they do every year.

Jane and Brad fake the argument but then end up getting in a real argument as a result.

Max is hibernating for the winter.

Notes: 


This show has been the best comedy for me this season up until recently. I find it reached its zenith at the start of the season and is falling from it rapidly.

Everything on the show is overdone now.

Although I still love the characters, the actors, the show's style and the type of humour they're doing it's just constantly jumping the shark for me.

The whole Max-is-a-bear thing was funny for a minute but got too dumb too fast.

There were a number of great laughs though and it does still finish off the Wednesday night comedies on ABC very well.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the episode a lot but I worry about where the show is going if it doesn't get a little more grounded in what it was doing before and stop trying to congratulate itself on its own cleverness and inside jokes. It's too much and although the cast more than compensates, the show needs to find itself again and in a hurry before it gets totally off the rails.

MVP: Do I always say Brad? I'm gonna say Brad again because that guy's deliveries are hilarious. That guy makes me laugh more than any single actor in a comedy on TV.

Best Line: Brad: I'm not the one who always goes out on the terrace to stretch because quote 'the perv across the way needs to eat too'.

Grade: B+

Modern Family February 22 2012

Season 3 Episode 16 "Guns and Dolls"


Cameron wants his container back from Claire

Mitchell reveals an old secret to Jay and creates a scandal

Luke and Manny set a trap for Lily and catch Cameron in it instead. Then they steal his car.

Claire has a secret and Gloria is going to find out what it is.

Phil finds out Haley isn't a virgin and that everyone knew except him.

Notes:


This show is coming back in my esteem.

The past few weeks have moved in new dimensions and focused on different elements of different relationships between the characters and that has been a breath of fresh air.

For example we're used to seeing Claire and Phil or Clair and Gloria or Cameron and Gloria and although it wasn't right up in the front, one of the most important relationships that was touched on in this episode was Cameron and Claire.

Basically, we see Cameron getting cranky at Claire the way he often gets toward Mitchell or Gloria but we sense his displeasure at his belief that Claire has kept his container and he gets a bit petty about it and this shows Cameron seeing Claire in a certain way... in a way that Mitchell and Gloria are used to describing her in but this time Cameron is right in the middle of it. Although there was not much action between Clair and Cameron directly, this dynamic directed Cameron's actions for the whole episode and led to a lot of the events that took place and that was an interesting launching pad for the story.

The other dynamic that is becoming more interesting is Manny and Luke. That ridiculous domino trap set up that they created to make it look like Lily spilled the milk was hilarious. The show is committed to physical comedy but they fell into a pattern of always doing the same physical comedy and the same deliveries and it was getting dull. But the best thing about Cameron's fall on the spilled milk (and I have watched it more than once) is that he did not over-do the fall at all; it was quite natural.

When Claire or Phil do a fall they have a style of doing it and their styles are very funny but overused at this point so it was nice to see someone else do that style of comedy but in such an underdone way. It was a great moment.

And the way it was combined with that ridiculous domino thing was hilarious. That thing was so Luke that it was almost as though Cameron and Luke did the scene together.

What did Luke and Manny think was going to happen once the trap was sprung? No one was going to see all the dominos and bowling pins and can openers all over the counter that were all hooked up together? Although it seems they were right because no one mentioned it.

The part where Manny was doing the drive-by with the car was so funny I could've cried. And then when he did it in reverse it was even funnier the second time. That was my first cry-worthy laugh from Modern Family in a long time and I think it was a good sign.

It was very ironic that they chose to discuss Haley losing her virginity in an episode that played at the same time as the Republican debate was on and they were discussing sexual morality and contraception. Those were two pretty amazing things to flip between (during the commercials, of course).

The whole issue of teenage sex and parents' reactions toward it is so sensitive I think it is a good sign that the show decided (and was allowed) to address it at all in any kind of direct way. It shows they're not afraid of pushing or of losing their mainstream audience by being too controversial.

And the little detail thrown in at the end where Phil was also upset that Dylan never told him about the virginity thing was great. That was a nice way to round it off and to have the subject be a moment for the family that was more about their emotions than about an actual controversy.

MVP: MVP is Phil. His scenes with Haley at the mall where they're not talking about the virginity subject but it's in the subtext were very good. Because he portrayed just in his delivery all the things that dads say in sitcoms to their kids when the subject comes up without ever actually saying them. And you could see shock, awkwardness and disappointment but by the end of the scene he turns it all around and they agree to be happy with the result without ever discussing the subject. But almost all of that is strictly portrayed by his facial expressions and it showed a real range.

Best Line: Gloria: There are blind models? That's so sad. They can not see how pretty they are.


Grade: A-

The Middle February 22 2012

Season 3 Episode 17 "The Sit Down"

Mike and Frankie decide to let the kids try to be more responsible and to take a step back from their day-to-day parenting duties.

Sue keeps losing her coat.

Axl keeps being put in contact with Weird Ashley.

Brick helps Axl with his book report for Of Mice and Men.

Notes:

As usual, a strong episode but the formulaic nature of the show's direction is becoming more and more and apparent. It is relying more on stereotypes about the show to propel itself forward although it has not become a cardboard cutout of itself yet (these kinds of problems have a way of hollowing out a show).

There were some really great moments, especially surrounding people writing reminders on themselves and when Brick crossed the reminder to bring the coffee pot home off his arm.

Axl accidentally asked Weird Ashley out to the prom again so it would be hilarious if that develops into another story about him trying to find a way out of it and/or going to the prom with her again. That would be funny enough for a round 2 of Axl and Weird Ashley.


MVP: MVP is Brick. His innocent readings of Of Mice and Men, constantly expecting it to be more tame the further he get into the book were hilarious. And the way he counter-pointed all those scenes with Axl and Sue while he was reading the book in between their arguments was perfectly timed.

Best Line: Weird Ashley: "Hi, Axl. I'm going to the bathroom. I'll see you on my way back."


Grade: B+. Very enjoyable but the show is getting to be the same every week (although that is still a good thing). They should shake it up a bit!

Glee February 21 2012

Season 3 Episode 14 "On My Way"

Sue is pregnant

David attempts suicide

The New Directions must face the Warblers at regionals

Rachel and Finn decide to get married right away

Notes:


I never like or dislike an episode of Glee consistently. There's always parts I really like about it and parts I really dislike about and they're totally separate. I form my general impression of an episode based on how much I liked the parts I liked and how much I disliked the parts I disliked. It seems I can never love or hate an episode beginning to end.

So I always end up having to break it up into parts.

Sue's pregnancy: Love this. Because you never know if Sue really is full of hormones or idealism or whatever or if it's all just a trick to pull of some crazy scam. We don't actually really know she's pregnant and not just saying she's pregnant.

I thought for sure she was going to tell Mr Schuester he was somehow the father of her baby.

Anyway it adds a new and very interesting element to the show. Hopefully they'll keep it consistent for once and not forget the pregnancy storyline until one day Sue shows up with a two-year-old after not mentioning the fact she was pregnant for the rest of the season.

David attempts suicide: I won't comment too much on the believability of this as I don't understand why suicide seems to be the outcome to teenaged problems so much these days. It seems like it's as likely as not that a kid in David's situation might attempt suicide.

When Mr Schuester tells his own tale of wanting to kill himself it shows how different the idea to suicide is from generation to generation so maybe I don't know that much about it.

But I think the show made a savvy move (although they didn't underline it too clearly) in that the only people who blame themselves for David's suicide attempt are the two gay kids. This is what happens in bullying cases. No one is willing to blame anyone or accept any blame for themselves. They just argue and argue until everyone gives up trying to agree on who was wrong and who was right until inexplicably no one really has to face their role in it.

I'm not sure which was worse for David: the way people treated him that used to be his friends and family or the way Sebastian treated him saying no one would want him and whatever. Certainly he probably wasn't the only person who talked to David that way because that's the way gay people treat each other.

It's very disheartening when you first come out to be rejected by everyone you know and then after that to expect to find support with other gay people only to find out you're not appreciated by them either. This is very common.

Rachel and Finn's Wedding: I'm glad they brought this story to a head rather than just dragging it along. It sounds crazy but I don't find it at all unrealistic as Rachel is very self-centered and overly-dramatic and Finn is very stupid.

This could have gone on and on until the end of the season but it didn't. They went with a now-or-never approach to the wedding and that was much more interesting.

Of course we don't know what will happen to the wedding once everyone finds out that Quinn has been in a car accident so that actually might push it back and let it be dragged on some more.

Regionals: I had a hard time believing this was the all-important regionals episode. The songs they did could've been any other songs. There wasn't a Faithfully or a The Time of My Life in the bunch.

They did songs I've never heard of or songs I know but don't like.

I hate the song I Believe I Can Fly. Although as mash-ups go it was much better than what they've been doing lately.

All the songs were handled well but there was no wow-factor in any of it.

And no wonder, they apparently haven't chosen their songs for regionals the week before the competition? They didn't learn from not having their songs from Nationals chosen until the day before?

Of course the songs they would really have prepared for this competition they would've been working on for months (interspersed with others). Especially if they have aspirations of going to the Nationals.

And also when the girls did their all-girl song they suddenly had a bunch of girls performing with them who aren't in the Glee Club! Did I miss a part where they explained where they came from?

Because they weren't in any of the other songs.

And the song they were in did not have Rachel, Tina or Quinn. There's a girl in there that looks like Sugar but I can't tell if it really is Sugar or not.

I did really like the song Rachel did though.

Can I just say that despite the inappropriateness of the genre, I thought the medieval times glee club sounded really good? Although they were more of a choir than a glee club.


MVP: Sue. For the first time in a long time. There's something going on with that lady and we don't know what it is and she makes us curious to find out what she's got up her sleeve.

Best Line: That is photoshopped! His thing is not that small... or, or brown!

Grade: B (I liked more about it than I disliked and felt at the end I generally liked it).

Once Upon A Time Sunday February 19 2012

Season 1 Episode 13 "What Happened to Frederick"


If you keep reading I will predict who the mysterious stranger on the motorcycle is that everyone's so excited about.

David's Wife learns the truth about him and Mary Margaret but it does not help him and Mary Margaret get together.

Emma finds the book in one piece and returns it to Henry

Emma goes out with the mysterious new man in town, but their date isn't what she expected.

Prince Charming flees the kingdom and helps his fiancee to reunite with her true love.

Notes:


So this was a cool episode.

We start to have more original material coming out of the fairytale side of the story and it becomes clear that they're not planning on dragging the whole Mary Margaret/David thing on for a million years as some shows would do, but they keep pushing it forward and that's a relief.

The strongest part of the episode was the actual fairytale part. I like that they have started to go into really new territory and make the fairytale element of the show more their own, but they still draw on fairytale and folklore traditions to keep the stories consistent with the kind of thing you expect from a fairytale.

In this episode Prince Charming runs away, knowing it will mean his death but determined to find his true love (Snow White) and he must help his fiancee reunite with her true love in the name of chivalry and also so that one of them can be happy if they can't both be (he doesn't expect to live to find Snow White or for her to want to marry him even if he does find her).

So the themes are honour and true love and these are the actual themes of most fairytales.

There is a quite cool story about how his intended bride's love was turned to gold by accident in an attempt to save her and her father (King Midas) and now he is his own gold statue and tribute to his sacrifice in service to the king and there is no way to release him except to retrieve water from a magical lake. But no one who has attempted to retrieve the water has survived the attempt.

So Prince Charming sets out to retrieve it so that they can be happy together and if he dies in the attempt he expects to die anyway so he might as well have it be for a noble cause rather than his pretend-father's punishment for running away from the marriage.

Anyway, he goes to the lake and again they draw from fairytale imagery with a lady in the lake, a test of temptation and all of that. He is only able to survive and ultimately get the water because of his ability to hold back from the temptation of the lady in the lake's identical duplication of Snow White, which is of course meant to get him off guard and kill him.

Anyway once the golden statue (Frederick) is rescued and his identity unveiled we know that he will eventually have a counterpart in the real world (or is Storybrook the fake world?).

The real David is not so noble. He does not tell his wife that he wants to leave her and that he has been seeing Mary Margaret as he and Mary Margaret agreed but she finds out anyway and the Mayor takes advantage to manipulate the situation to make it as scandalous as possible, apparently even going so far as to spray paint mean messages on a car (her car or his car?).

David's wife decides to leave Storybrook to pursue an opportunity in Boston but of course it is not possible to leave Storybrook so just as she's about to leave town her car apparently gets knocked to the side of the road and someone appears to try to help... and it's none other than the real-world version of the golden statue, Frederick. We have since seen him around the set of the school (she had run into him earlier on her way to confront Mary Margaret in front of the students, which was very classy... is there any security at this school?). According to IMDB he's a gym teacher.

So she will be saved by her true love... or so it seems. They don't seem to know each other in the real world yet.

Here's the question: Was it all part of the Mayor's plan for him to find her or is it that the spell is weakening with Emma's presence?

Emma goes out with the mysterious stranger as she agreed but they end up having their date at a well. Why at a well? He tells her that's it's magic and it has the power to grant those who drink from it the return of something they've lost. Just like the magic lake from the fairytale David used to get Frederick out of his statue form.

I believe I know who the mysterious stranger is and I will predict his part in the plot below. If I am right then he definitely does intend to give Emma something back that she has lost and he begins by taking her to the well and showing her a point that links the fairytale world and Storybrook, although she may not know it yet. The audience knows that the well he brings her to must be related to the magical lake in the fairytale but will she read that part of the story in the book and make the connection? And if she does, will she believe it or will she think he read the book and made the whole thing up to get her interest?



Who is the Stranger/Mysterious Man/ "August W. Booth"?:


I will tell you who I think Emma's mysterious new romantic interest is.

OK, Once Upon a Time is loosely based on The Neverending Story, right? There's a bunch of magical characters in a book who need saving and the only one who can save them is someone in the real world who doesn't understand that they can save the characters in the book. So either Henry or Emma can save them (or maybe both... that part isn't totally clear but you get the point... they're in the real world and they have to help the characters in the story).

So Emma's new mysterious outsider is a character from The Neverending Story... his name is something like "The Old Man from the Mountain" or something like that... I'm not going to go digging around a million boxes looking for that book just to find his name.

Anyway the point is that The Old Man from the Mountain is in charge of writing down everything that happens in The Neverending Story and actually putting it into the book.

He doesn't create the story, he just looks at everything that happens and writes it down and that's how it all gets recorded into the book that Henry now has and that the Mayor tries to get rid of and that Emma gives back to him.

And that's who the mysterious stranger is.

He is able to enter the town because he's not really part of the story and is therefore not subject to the spell.

So up until Emma's arrival, there hasn't been much to report on in the fairytale... the queen comes and casts the spell and they are all put under the spell and that's basically all that's happened in twenty-eight years (we know it's been twenty-eight years since Snow White had her baby and Emma's arrival in Storybrook). So there's nothing for him to add. But now Emma has arrived and things have started to happen and so he has returned to resume recording what happens in the story.

Eventually the Old Man from the Mountain is called upon to convince the hero in the real world that he is part of the story and he is the hero they are looking for and that he is the only one that can save them.

So at some point he will have to convince Emma that everything Henry is saying is true and that she is the hero that can save all of the magical characters, just like Henry has been trying to explain to her all this time by showing her the book.

I further predict that the book will start to gain new parts that weren't there before (reflecting the recent events in the story since Emma's arrival) and also that Emma will start to be in the book but she probably won't believe it's really her and she'll continue her skepticism.

This may not happen for a long time but it would make a good season finale cliffhanger.

MVP: I'm going to say David's wife. She showed a lot more range this week as she suddenly had a lot more kinds of things to play than she ever has before. Her turnaround of the princess from a silly self-centered twit to a noble lady mourning her lost love was not convincing in terms of the plot, it happened a bit too fast, but that wasn't the actress's fault... she made it as smooth and believable as possible. She took a small-level villain from the fairytale story and made her into a hero and a background character from Storybrook and made her much more interesting.

Best Part: This show does a lot of bad special effects but the scene when Prince Charming takes on the guardian of the lake was not one of them. The clip could be a cool example of the show's fairytale elements to someone who hasn't seen the show before or say, a good submission to the Emmys... (not that I think the show is really gonna be in the running for a whole lot of Emmys).


Grade: B+

Glee February 14 2012

Season 3, Episode 13: "Heart"


Notes: Where to start?... OK, let's break it down...

Britney and Santana: This season when things happen on Glee I often find myself saying that I don't remember what led up to those things... like I never know if Rachel and Finn are together or not, if Santana is on the Cheerios or not and things like that. It all just disappears into a blur.

So here's the thing: is Britney a lesbian now? Are those two dating or something? If that happened I don't remember any of it. I seem to recall that during Landslide we were supposed to pick up that it was OK for Santana to like Britney but for Britney not to feel the same way and that they were going to eventually work it out or something. Did something change there? Did something happen during Constant Craving that I don't remember?

I don't remember anything like being girlfriends happening even just in the background of the last few episodes... I noticed that Britney and Santana seemed closer, more like before the whole lesbian thing, but I thought they were just moving on from their not-feeling-the-same thing. They're a couple?

Even if this did happen and I don't remember it, I don't blame myself; I blame the show. It's so all over the place these days and it's almost never on and it doesn't have a consistent plot. It's the show's own fault for being so messed up that what happens on the show is forgettable.

Rachel's Dads: Let's get right to it: Anyone who's watched the show from the beginning knows that Rachel has a super-Jewish dad and a black dad. And the joke at the beginning of the show was that she supposedly didn't know which one was her biological father. Suddenly she has two white dads (that could be seen as both super-jewish).

So what was that? Does this show have any notion of its own plot anymore? Everything is just random now. It's like they never think about whether the show is consistent with what it's done in the past.

That aside I did like Rachel's dads. If you ignore the fact they totally messed up on the part where one is supposed to be black and one is supposed to be white, they were well-cast.

And she had good parental chemistry with both of them. They made for a believable crazy family that Rachel would come from.

And I loved how they talked about their tradition of turning dinner into dinner theatre. And I liked how Finn called them "Mr. Berries".

I think we can assume they'll be back as they laid the groundwork for a future story when they seemed to lie about how they first met.

I loved the whole idea of shocking Rachel and Finn out of wanting to get married by pushing them together very suddenly. I know it was exaggerated but it is a musical, right? So that kind of made sense.

One thing I didn't totally understand... are they planning to wait to have sex when they're married?

I thought they had done it once before. But maybe they didn't end up doing it?

Again, this show is such a mess I can't even remember what the plot was before this episode.

Although I liked Rachel's dads it bugged me that Jeff Goldblum didn't have the connection to his partner that his partner had to him. The other guy really seemed like someone's partner and Jeff Goldblum almost seemed like he was acting by himself.

Maybe this will turn out to be a feature of the character... he's very rooted in himself and doesn't emotionally connect easily to other people... that would certainly make him like Rachel. Also Jeff Goldblum plays a lot of characters like that so it's kind of his thing, I guess. Still it bugged me.

If Rachel's dads do come back I think they need to work that into the character so it becomes an acknowledged part of his personality rather than something that's obviously missing from the show. Because as it stands if someone were to ask the question can Jeff Golblum play gay?  (and people do ask these questions) I think the answer was "It was OK, but not the greatest".

If he were playing an emotionally withdrawn guy who's been with his partner for twenty years and has withdrawn into himself a bit and has raised a kid who's just like him and is at times emotionally withdrawn from her partner and self-centered in her relationship and he also is gay, then I think it works and gets around the question.

Because then it's just he plays the Jeff Goldblum-type character but in this one he's gay. And it takes away from people trying to pin his character down to gay stereotypes and it reminds you that gay people aren't a certain way and that everyone is different, just like anybody else. And he's just another character with a complication (he's emotionally withdrawn from his partner) and he's gay.

In that sense having Jeff Goldblum come on and give his trademark type of character is a great statement because it's just like saying Rachel's gay dad is like any other character Jeff Goldblum would play and it's just another role for a long-standing and prolific Hollywood actor, like anything else he would play and that's good.

Sugar and Artie and Rory: This triangle came completely out of the blue. Not only do Artie and Rory both like Sugar but they both feel so passionate about it they're willing to compete with each other for her?

There is no basis in the story for this.

Yes, Artie is prone to random actions that only make sense to him so he might suddenly decide he really likes Sugar.

Yes, Rory really wants a girlfriend and he sees that Sugar's available and maybe wants to make a move.

But all that drama that ensued between them as they compete over her... that was too much. It doesn't mean anything unless it has something in the plot to relate it to why they feel so strongly about going up against each other for Sugar. This could've worked if it was introduced earlier but it came out of nowhere and went too far right away and now it's strange.

Also we have no idea what the both of them find so great about Sugar. She's not a romantic character, she doesn't have a lot of redeeming qualities, she hasn't gone out of her way to indicate she's interested in Artie or Rory in anymore than superficial ways that could just be general flirty conversation. So what is it about her that both of them are so interested in?

Their urge to get together with her is a bit of a mystery. And they never said or indicated during the episode what they like so much about her.

So what is that story all about? It doesn't mean anything to the audience because we don't even know why they're so into Sugar in the first place.

Mercedes and Sam: Mercedes and Sam are one of the only things I am interested in at all in the show so I'm not impressed that they ended up not getting together.

Especially because the reason was just a bunch of self-obsessed drama.

The thing is, if after all that she broke up with the other guy and then just went right on to Sam after saying how she felt bad about what she had done, it would make dating Sam right after breaking up with the other guy and telling him she had been seeing Sam behind his back seem sort of like a bad thing to do.

She might still get back together with Sam later on (ideally not too much later) but the big overblown drama scenes were too much.

Bare in mind though that these are teenagers and they are prone to overblown, ridiculously dramatic nonsense so that is a pretty realistic portrayal of what a teenager might do and also Mercedes is particularly self-centered, over emotional and dramatic so it goes with her character. It doesn't mean she and Sam won't still get together.

Kurt and David: I knew all along the guy in the gorilla suit was David. The fact that the guy was in a gorilla suit kind of suggested it was him all along. Also, based on their recent story together I kind of suspected something like this would happen, that David would decide he suddenly wanted Kurt.

It may seem unrealistic but I must say it is something that really happens. I can understand the criticism but I'm going to stand up for this little plot twist because I think it happens a lot to gay people especially when they first come out of the closet.

First of all gay people have a tendency to put all of their affection onto the people that help them come out of the closet and that kind of thing happens all the time.

Remember Chip and Reichen from The Amazing Race? They weren't really much of a match as a couple but Reichen had been in the closet and admired Chip for not being in the closet and then Chip helped Reichen come out of the closet and he thought he was in love with Chip and they'd be together forever based on that rush of emotion?

That's the kind of thing that is happening with David and Kurt.

It doesn't matter that they're not a match; it matters how David feels about Kurt.

Another awkward part of being gay.

Anyway that's what it is.

Everything David said to Kurt is accurate and those kind of things happen all the time and everything Kurt said to David was also accurate.

It's a sad situation but David will get over it.

Anyway, it seems that the next thing for those two is Kurt will have to defend David as more people find out he's gay. That should be interesting.

It kind of shows Kurt's honour that he already tried to cover up for David when that guy started bugging him rather than just revealing the truth, which he could have done.

I suspect for a while they'll try to cover up that David's gay and eventually Kurt will convince him to come out or he'll be outed and Kurt will have to defend him.

One more thing... why are there only four people in the school's Christian club? That doesn't seem very likely for an American school.

And I know that Sam used to go to church and he and Mercedes had a connection that way because they went to the same church... but I'd like to clarify whether Sam really is some kind of Christian club enthusiast or is he in it because Mercedes is in it?

Oh, and another thing... Tina and Mike Chang are the only ones not driving me crazy.

I like them together, I like them performing together and I liked the song they did together. It was the only non-controvertial part of the episode for me.

 And I like that they're giving Mike Chang a sort of retro theme with the songs he performs and that they're also adding a classic Hollywood style of dance to his repertoire to give it another dimension on top of what he's already doing. It makes his character seem like he's evolving just through his performance numbers, which makes a lot of sense considering his love of dance and his determination to pursue a career in the performing arts despite his father's intentions for him.

In general I still liked this episode. There's something about Glee that no matter how much I hate any particular episode I still love it.

I don't know what gives me the general impression that I liked this episode but for some reason I thought it was better than the show's been lately. But don't look for any explanations as to why because I don't have any. I just had a feeling at the end that I generally liked it. And that's all I can say about it.

MVP: Jeff Goldblum was great but I felt like he was playing a character on his own and he didn't have any connection to his partner. Now I think about it I can't remember any roles readily where Jeff Goldblum played a really convincing partner-type character. Maybe they're out there but not with enough impact for me to remember them. People usually think of him in roles where he plays individuals that stand out. So although I liked everything he did it bugged me that that was lacking. So I'm going to give it to Sam for getting through all those cheesy crying shots without making them worse. He actually made me feel a little sad.


Best Line: Honesty. Respect. Dance. Those are the foundations of the Berry family.


Grade: B-

This Week on Glee

I don't have any videos but here are some clips from this week's Glee songs.

I'm saving the best for last so scroll all the way down.

They're doing I Will Always Love You, which is interesting considering what's been going on this week.

It's actually a pretty nice version.



Some song I've never heard of...




An awkward mash-up of Cherish by Madonna and Cherish by The Association. I like what they did with the The Association part but the Madonna part is just kind of thrown in. Why do all their mash-ups suck now?



Stereo Hearts by Gym Class heroes...

e>

Let Me Love You by Mario...



L-O-V-E by nat King Cole...



And as promised, the best for last. Love Shack by my favourite, the B-52's. This version is OK but it's not really blowing me away. It's a hard song to do because the B-52's put such a mark on everything. You'd almost have to do it with the or do it as a tribute form... but it's OK.

Modern Family February 8 2012

Season 3, Episode 14 "Me? Jealous?"

Notes: This was an episode that made me feel better about the show's direction. I have been a little disappointed in the formulaic way they roll out the same thing every time and this week we saw some pairings of characters we don't often see, as well as ones that we do see but in some new situations.

First of all, I think that Cameron and Gloria are a great pairing but they're too powerful/too much to put together into a main storyline very often. However getting those two together this week was just the little boost the show needed.

These are easily the show's best two comic performers and their over-the-top characters are just awesome.

Also, the show's about a large family and so the relationships between the members of the family must be at the heart of it and it bugs me that they always focus on the same pairings week after week so it's nice to see a shake up... what Gloria and Cameron have in common (besides their obvious exuberant personalities) is that they both married into the family and in a way they are both a little bit like outsiders to the family sometimes. So they have that going for them in terms of story potential.

The other thing I loved about Cameron and Gloria's storyline was that it allowed one of my other favourite dynamics to open up: Gloria's relationship to Lily.

The scene where Cameron and Gloria danced around the kitchen could have been so terrible in the hands of other people but I thought it really played off well, down to the kick at the end.

Also I love anything that puts Mitchell and Jay into a story together because those can be really challenging and they don't tend to gloss their relationship right over the way sitcoms often do with stoic father/son relationships.

I also like that they found a sticking point between Jay and Mitchell that didn't have to do with Jay being annoyed by Cameron or the gay thing in general. I'm referring to Mitchell thinking Jay doesn't value his job. Good call there. And it adds even more complexity to their relationship.

This type of relationship-based material is what the show's been lacking lately (as well as a plot).

This was a strong episode for Phil. Lately with the whole repetitiveness problem the show's been having, they've been giving Phil and Claire the same scenes and the same types of routines to play over and over again so a little change was good.

I'm not super-crazy about Greg Kinear but I always like his performances once I get into them.

I don't know why I always resist him but I do.

Anyway I was not thrilled to see him in the show but I liked him in the end.

MVP: Gloria. Isn't it always?

Best Line: "I made this for Haley four year ago. You think this got framed? She tossed it in the garbage. Right after she wrote 'Mrs. Haley Jonas Brothers' on it like thirty times."

Grade: B+

Suburgatory February 8 2012

Season 1, Episode 13 "Sex and the Suburbs"

George is not happy at the thought of Tessa having sex with Scott and tries to find ways to distract her by hanging out with her friends.

Tessa isn't as interested in Scott as she thinks she was but she doesn't want to break up with him because she's making Dalia jealous.

George finally sleeps with the waitress from the club.

Dallas decides to get a divorce.


Notes: I feel Suburgatory is getting better and more into a confident pace with each week. I've always liked it but now instead of feeling like it's just a show that I watch because it's in the middle of the ABC lineup,  I am starting to really enjoy it in its own right and look forward to it.

I'm sad Tessa broke up with Scott because I don't want him to leave the show... maybe he'll still be around in some episodes.

I'm super-glad Dallas decided to get a divorce because I approve of anything that injects plots into sitcoms so they're not just the same thing every week.

I love Arden Myrin and I love that she finally got her man. The sex scene between her and George was hilarious.

Does Malik have a little thing for Lisa? I'd like to see that one develop a bit, but maybe on the backburner for now and become a bigger story later.

MVP: I thought the MVP was Scott. That guy does such a good job playing a total cutie who's simultaneously a total douchebag. The world is full of these guys that are just on the edge of being so interesting but they can't stop contemplating their own inner struggle and whatnot. He's as frustrating and compelling as the real thing.

Best Line: Kiss me, Scott. Kiss me like I'm Africa.

Grade: A

The Middle February 8 2012

Season 3, Episode 15 "Valentine's Day III"


Sue doesn't understand French kissing.

Brick has to do a Valentine's Day Assignment on love.

Axl has to do a speech about a moment that changed his life forever and realizes he can't think of any.

Frankie and Mike go on a triple date for Valentine's Day.

Notes:


Another strong episode in the style of the show... but this is how I felt about Modern Family for several weeks before it fell off my top 10 list. It's almost like they've got a great formula worked out and they're relying on it too much now. How long can they drag it out?

However.

I love the new element to season 3 of Sue having a boyfriend and I like him and I like them together.

And I like that Carly was back!

I also loved the idea of all the neighbours going out for Valentine's Day together. I'd like to see more development in the dynamics with them...

Is there that much to say about this episode? It was another good one.

MVP: There were no real standouts above the usual but Axl's little speeches where he was trying to convey the seriousness of his experiences were pretty funny.

Best Line: "I'd like to take you to this great Italian place that I know. I have a meet the next day so I can't eat. But I'd really enjoy watching my lady eat."

Grade: B+

On the Next Glee

Another Song From the Upcoming Episode of Glee

Smooth Criminal From Glee

This is from the next episode of Glee.

I really don't like this guy and I think he messes it up.

Although I like Santana's part.

Happy Endings Wednesday January 18 2012

Season 2 Episode 12: "Makin' Changes"


-Penny tries to change a man to be her ideal on Jane's advice

-Brad goes back to the way he used to be before Jane "changed" him

-Max and Alex think Dave is addicted to V-necks and try to get him to change his shirt

Notes:


This was a strong episode although not the season's best.

Since Happy Endings really took it up a notch this season I've found every episode to be very enjoyable and this was no exception.

I support any storyline that gets Dave to take off his shirt.

I love the idea of how Alex is always a little behind on the conversations and I also love the idea of how she delivers in those scenes but I find more and more lately her deliveries are off an on in those moments... you know, like when she thinks she's playing along but she's actually totally lost? I think the director lets her down sometimes by not giving her a few extra takes because when she nails them it's great and when she doesn't it just seems like a Joey Tribiani impression and it's worth it to let her nail it.

Like when she and Max were going to say what they were thinking at the same time about Max being addicted to V-Necks but she really just wants to know what Max is going to say... that part starts out awesome but it didn't play out properly and the director should have let them run it through a couple of more times because that really should have worked.

That's the only thing that's been bugging me. I still think it's a great idea for one of the character's signature moves and they should keep moving ahead with it.

That guy Penny made over was super-hot!

I find Damon Wayans Jr to be really funny. Even when he's doing stuff that should be out and tired out sitcom cliches he still brings something to it and is probably one of my favourite people on the show and I think the funniest of the guys.

How sexy did Jane look in that Gwen Stefani get up?

MVP: I'm going to give it to Brad for the scene with the mousetraps.

Best Line: Brad: It's funny 'cause it's sad.


Grade: A-

Suburgatory Wednesday January 18 2012

Season 1 Episode 12, "The Casino Trip"


-George wins a trip to Atlantic City and it turns into a boy's trip for all the boys of the neighbourhood.

-Tessa tries to make out with her new boyfriend but he doesn't want to.


Notes: 


Another great episode.

The more you can work in Alan Tudyk, the better... although I don't know why I like him so much.

Also in the very first scene they played Rock Lobster, which is one of my favourite songs.

It seemed a bit surprising that everyone's so cool with Fred after the whole naked wrestling incident... although they did it in front of him, technically... so if he's cool with it they should be cool with it too.

I thought the part about Sheila being able to sense everything Fred does was a little bit overdone... although I loved the part where George called Dallas and Sheila said she could "sense" Fred on the phone call.

That guy Tessa is dating is super-cute!

MVP: Although she only had a small part, I must again give it to Dalia for her ridiculous delivery of the little scene where she's announcing the winner of the raffle.


Best line: Dalia: You know, I didn't criticize your stupid speech.


Grade: A-

Modern Family Wednesday January 18 2012

Season 3, Episode 13: "Little Bo Bleep"


-Lily learns to swear

-Jay's dog learns to swim

-Claire learns to be a politician

Notes:


Don't get me wrong, I still love Modern Family and it's still in my top tier but I don't think it's what it was.

Basically, I find it's always the same and it has funny situations and a great cast giving great performances and great directing and great scripts and a great production design but there's not much of a story anymore.

It doesn't take much story to push a sitcom along week to week but you need something. The last few weeks they've been doing better, with some movement in Jay's relationship with Gloria and elaborating a bit on what happens between Alex and Haley and also the growing similarities between Alex and Mitch.

And this is why I was glad the Claire-runs-for-city-council thing came back because when that first came up I thought, "Wow, a story. And one that could actually the shake the show up a bit... Claire has an ongoing project, she needs everyone to pitch in, Phil has to be home more with the kids, maybe the kids see her in a different way and are influenced by it (hopefully Haley)" and then it kind of went away.

So I hope the way tonight's episode ended doesn't mean Claire is going to drop out of the election and that will be the end of it.

She should continue and the story should be allowed to permeate the show a little more.

Although Lily's swearing was hilarious (an example of how censoring swearing can be funnier than actually swearing) we learned what her swear word was because it rhymed with "duck". I think there was an opportunity to take it a little further with a more interesting swear word and then it would have been even funnier to say what the word is by rhyming it out... like instead of "it rhymes with duck" it could be "it rhymes with duck face" or people could say "What is she saying? Duck face?"

It could be a funnier swear word than "duck face" but the point is the censored bits should be longer and the swear word a little more unusual... something totally unexpected and that makes you (and the characters on the show) wonder where she heard it. And then on top of that you have the "kids go through a swearing phase" story and the "Cam can's stop laughing when she swears" story. And then there's a little more to it to give it some edge.

Although I'm glad they went with the f-word and not something lighter. That did give it some edge, which made it much funnier.

But didn't everyone know from the minute she started swearing that she would end up swearing in front of everybody at the wedding? There was another dimension to that, which was it made everyone laugh and Claire feel less embarrassed about what happened to her earlier but still I thought it needed to have a little more to it to really knock it out of the park, since everyone saw that bit coming from a mile away. Although seeing it coming makes people anticipate it and anticipating it makes it funnier, still they should have done more with that part than just dropping the F-bomb at the wedding and it makes everyone laugh and that's it.

The other thing is Mitch was really disappointed in Cam's reaction to her swearing and as usual he just kind of got exasperated until he eventually accepted it and I think it would have been better to go into their disagreement about her swearing a little more. That would've added some dimension  to the story as well as some dimension to their relationship. Although we see how they interact with each other on a daily basis we don't know a whole lot about them on a deeper level... what attracts them to each other and what irritates them about each other (we know a bit of this but it should go deeper as the series goes on) and what do they learn about themselves, each other and their relationship now that they are parents? This part tends to scratch the surface where they're concerned, whereas usually in a sitcom these things are the main source of comedy. If Modern Family wants to stay on top of its credibility of portraying a gay couple as a mainstream, All-American family they should explore this more. I think they would benefit from this greatly. I think they've reached the point in the show's fame where they can start to do more with those characters' relationship, although I appreciate they must get some push back about how far they can take them. They've come this far and they should keep going.

I think that Autotunes video is the funniest thing I've seen on Modern Family in a long time.

MVP: It has to be Phil, by a hair. Although Claire gave a great performance where she was doing a lot of well-timed physical comedy during the debate where she was trying not to point and all that for some reason I thought Phil's speech about what happened at the hotel was the funniest part. I don't know why, I just responded to that part a lot more. Although props to Claire for a great job on that whole debate part.

Best line: Phil: I, like a lot of men in this town, enjoy making love to my wife. I mean with their wives. Not me. Them. Look, I should probably just sit down and just say nothing but it's too late, I am standing and I'm obviously talking and now you're looking at me and I feel the need to keep going.


Grade: A-

The Middle Wednesday January 18 2012

Season 3, episode 14 "Hecking It Up"


-Frankie volunteers at the Superbowl as Mike tries to ignore it

-Sue learns to drive

-The Hecks borrow their neighbours' new car


Notes:


This is not my favourite-ever episode of The Middle, but is there ever a bad one?

There were some hilarious moments: I almost cried when Sue broke the law and tried to drive the car around the block to get it back into the driveway.

And when Brick had all his books in the trunk!

MVP: As always my MVP was Sue. First of all her driving scene in the stolen car was the best thing all night on the comedy lineup and also I think she was in every hilarious scene in this episode.

And it was so cute how awkward she was with her boyfriend.

Best Line: Mike: Here's the deal, Matt... we stole a car.


Grade: A-

One Life to Live Friday January 13 2011 The Final Episode!!!

The Introduction

The episode opens with narration.

We don't see the narrator but we know from the familiar and uneasy feeling the narrator's voice gives us that it's Allison. So when she danced her way out of Llanfair, she didn't dance her way off the show forever.

Allison says she is telling the story of Victoria Buchannan and her life. There are clips of Clint and Viki about to open the paternity test and a conversation between Jessica and Natalie.

We finally see Allison and she's written a screenplay called One Life to Live and she's reading from it. She explains with the cancellation of Fraternity Row they'll be looking for something new to provide an exciting story.

Tea and Tomas

Next we see Tomas and Tea and John as Tea explains about keeping everything secret that they've been doing lately.

Tomas wants to go tell Blair everything but he has to wait until they can arrest Todd. But he won't have to wait long.

Blair and Todd

Blair and Todd are talking about losing everything. Todd says that the hardest part about having everything    (and now that he's fought to get her back and got her he has everything) is that it makes it that much harder to lose it.

Blair says now that she can say that she loves him that it's very possible it could happen but she trusts him more than anyone in the world.

Obviously get in bed and start doing it.

But they don't get far because John bursts is and arrests them.

He does apologize for the timing though.

Starr arrives at Langston and Markko's place and they catch up. In almost no time she's telling them tha Cole's not really dead. So she's really keeping that secret under wraps.

There's a knock at the door and a man tells Starr that Todd has sent along her new bodyguard. And it's Cole.

And that's not at all problematic since Starr isn't trying to become a popstar and she and her entourage aren't at all likely to be a on television or where anyone might see Cole and recognize him.

Destiny and Matthew and Bo and Nora 


Destiny's having this baby now!

Vivian tells them there's no time to get to the hospital... she needs boiled water and towels and everyone obligingly scrambles around to bring her everything in the house.

Matthew shows up just in time.

And so all of their families are there for the baby's birth in the house that we have led to assume by yesterday's episode is destined to be all of their future home (or at least some of them).

Bo asks Matthew why he decided to come and he gave all the credit to David.

The baby is born and it's a boy!

Bo calls David and says getting Matthew to come down was the best thing he ever did for the family. He promises to ask everyone something for David and so he does... would they name the baby David? No dice. Ah well.

Everyone says happy birthday to the newest member of their family.

Viki and Clint


Jessica and Natalie enter the room just as Viki and Clint open the paternity test results.

They tell them what's been going on and open the results and... Jessica is Clint's daughter! Was there any  doubt?

They all get emotional and say that although Jessica was always Clint's daughter one way or another, it's nice to know it was official.

That means Jessica and Natalie are really twins! And they're all a family.

It means one more thing: Mitch is really out of their life and has no relationship to the grandchildren.

They're free of Mitch forever.

Jessica tells Natalie that finding her was the best thing that ever happened to her.

Clint being Jessica's father means that Jessica is also Rex's sister. So that's a cool aspect.

The doorbell rings and there's one more surprise: it's Brody. He's been released and came to give his condolences for Ford and to say Jessica will always have his friendship and can always rely on him if she needs him.

But that's not it for surprises... Clint says they can't wait anymore time and proposes to Viki and she says yes!

Was that really a surprise?

So it's a happy ending all-around for the Lords and the Buchannans.

The End


We couldn't let the series go without one more twist now could we?

Allison announces that no one has shown any interest in her manuscript but she is going to keep trying... after all, even some of the characters in the manuscript will have to wait for some of their happy endings so maybe she should just do the same and wait.

Allison tells whoever she is reading to that they should understand how things aren't always as they seem...

And we see who has been listening to her all this time... it's Victor and she has his tied up and gagged!

Or is it Walker Laurence?

With Todd and Blair and John moving over to General Hospital there's a chance we may find out but isn't it nicer to leave it off with a delicious little cliffhanger that keeps you wondering?

Will we ever find out who killed Victor (or tried?), will we find out how Allison got him there and what he's been doing all this time?

We'll see. But it's interesting to note that at least for today Allison got the last word.

Videos from the end of One Life to Live

Click here to see a video with Erika Slezak (Victoria talking about the end of the show).

And here to see Victoria's speech about what soap operas are all about.

And here to see a promo for the final week.

Twitpic - Share photos and videos on Twitter

Here's a picture from behind the scenes of the final episode of One Life to Live.

I believe this is the last scene that was ever shot (although not the last to air).

Note that on the schedule someone wrote in "the last".

Twitpic - Share photos and videos on Twitter

I haven't seen the finale yet as I just got home from work.

I'll be in touch tomorrow!

One Life to Live Thursday January 12 2012

It's the second-last episode ever!

Tomorrow it's all over!

Llanfair


Viki and Clint are getting ready to watch the final episode of Fraternity Row.

Before it starts Rex, Gigi and Shane come over and announce their plans to leave for London.

Everyone's sad but Clint offers to get them set up at the place the Buchanans already have in London. So that sounds like it wouldn't be too bad.

And then Clint and Rex.

David and Matthew and Nora and Bo


David is throwing Bo a surprise party and Nora tells him ahead of time in case it's totally crazy.

But when they get home, David's crying.

He says everything's a disaster and no one will return his calls. He thinks it's all because he refused to save Fraternity Row. Everyone at home saw Roxy yelling at him but they don't all know that when he went to save the show they found out it was already finished. So that's too bad.

He mentions that Judith Light snubbed him at a Fraternity Row party. If you didn't get that one it's because Judith Light was one of the classic stars of One Life to Live and delivered one of the show's most famous scenes. These aren't remastered and it's a long scene but if you'd like to see this scene you can check it out by following the different clips of it here.

Also, David's new movie has been panned by the press!

Bo tells him not to worry and that someday it will be a cult classic. He says he had these kinds of problems all the time when he used to produce Fraternity Row.

And anyway he seems like he really liked the movie (to which Nora says "You saw it?" Ha.)

Bo tells Matthew the time is coming for him to accept what's happening with Destiny and that he can't run away from the baby anymore. But for now they have to watch the final episode of Fraternity Row and they'll talk about it later.

Roxy and Nigel and Destiny and Shaun


Roxy is having a Fraternity Row celebration at Rex's. All the members of SOS are there and Vivian is also invited, which gets a bit awkward but Shaun tells her to stay and so they all stay there together for the last episode.

Roxy tells everyone the news about Rex and Gigi and Shane going to London and Nigel comforts her.

La Boulaie


Starr arrives for the Mannings' party for the Fraternity Row finale and makes a dramatic declaration herself: she's moving to LA to pursue an opportunity to do an album.

Everyone's supportive of her except Todd. He says he's missed out on too much with her already and he won't let her go.

But she's determined and everyone sends her off warmly.

There's an odd part where Blair asks Starr how long she plans to be away from the baby. And Starr tells her she's taking her to LA. Did Blair really think Starr was going to run off to LA and just leave the baby behind?

Once she's gone Todd cries.

Blair says that it's the sign she's been waiting for to prove that he really has changed and is the kind of person she could be with and they kiss.

But that won't be Todd's only shocking moment...

Baker and Tomas


Even Baker and Tomas are watching the last episode of Fraternity Row although Tomas is doing it tied to a chair.

Todd has called Baker and told him there's something going on and he wants him to move Tomas. He says he will but he seems determined not to go anywhere until the show is over.

Todd's phone is tapped now though and John finds out what they're saying.

It's not long before John arrives, hits Baker over the head and rescues Tomas.

Bianca Morales and Agnes Nixon


So Bianca Morales is doing a pre-show for the Fraternity Row finale and her guest is the show's creator, Agnes Dixon, who is of course Agnes Nixon, creator of One Life to Live, All My Children and others and who has written for almost every major soap opera ever.

She makes a speech about soap operas and explains how the best part is they take the impossible and combine them with reality so that anything can happen and you somehow still believe it thanks to the amazing characters.

On One Life to Live I think that's especially true with all of the over-the-top stuff they do that somehow still manages to seem grounded when all is said and done.

That's followed by a speech from Viki, whose daughter was one of the stars of Fraternity Row. She echoes the sentiment by saying that not all the fans of the show know that Megan died and so they often come up to her and ask how she's doing and whether she'll ever return to the show. And Viki says that she gets so caught up in Fraternity Row sometimes she also wonders if she will. Aaw.

As a montage goes by of all the families getting ready to watch the show Viki says that what soap operas  are all about ultimately is families.

Fraternity Row


So Fraternity Row ends with a shocking conclusion: Lorraine was a man all along and the man who's been in a coma all those years was really Brandon's mother, not his father and Lorraine was his father.

Sam wants to know what a sex change is. Ha!

So how do you think One Life to Live will end? With a perfect bow on top? All My Children ended with a cliffhanger, do you think they'll do the same? Is the end of Fraternity Row a clue that there will be a shocking revelation at the end? That Tess killed Victor? (No, I will not let that one go).

Matthew and David


When Bo and Nora go over to say goodbye to Rex and Gigi and Shane, David and Matthew are alone and David tells Matthew he'd better start acting like a real Buchanan and own up to what's happening. If he doesn't take responsibility for the baby and get involved with his child David won't want to be around him.

This is the first time I ever noticed that David does sort of look like Matthew.

Shaun and Vivian and Vimal and Rama and Roxy and Rex and Destiny


Rama looks at Destiny admiringly. She would love to be pregnant. Do you think that will happen tomorrow?

Shaun has had a change of heart. If everyone can accept Lorraine on Fraternity Row even though she's a man then he should accept Vivian the way she is and not only think about himself and the way he wants things to be.

They seem to finally understand each other and it looks like they're getting back together!

Roxy finally gives Rex her blessing to leave town.

And Natalie comes over and has to accept it as well.

Vimal gets the results of Jessica's paternity test and runs off.

Bo sees a picture of Asa on the mantle and finds out that Rex put it there. He reflects that the house will seem empty once everyone's gone and their family has gone all over the world instead of all being in Llanview.

He looks at Destiny and has an idea... maybe it involves him and Nora and the house or him and Nora and Matthew and Destiny and the house?

Will they rename the house "Alexandria"?

No time to think about that. Destiny's going into labour!

The end


Vimal arrives at Llanfair and gives Clint the results of the paternity test.

Clint thanks Vimal and says he will never forget it. Vimal says he won't either.

Tea goes over to John's and gets a surprise... Tomas is there with John!

One Life to Live Wednesday January 11 2012

Starr and James


Starr and James are breaking up.

James actually gives a quite great performance and this might actually be the first time he has been interesting.

He doesn't want to be second best and he knew when he saw the way Starr feels for Cole she would never feel the same for him.

He wants a clean break. They're both sorry but they know they have to go their separate ways.

Aaaawww...

I normally don't care about break up scenes but this one was sad, even though I'm not interested in either one of those two.

Starr and Rick


Rick appears out of nowhere, apparently having made an amazing recovery so that he can come down to La Boulaie, which seems strange... anyway... she's not too upset about what he tells her.

He has some kind of deal lined up for her with lots of opportunities and they will have to leave together to make them happen.

This time he asks her if she wants to go, which doesn't seem like something he would do and she has to tell him by tomorrow.

Bo and Nora


Matthew comes to visit Bo in the hospital.

But just then... so does Destiny.

Awkward!

She asks Matthew to flat out say he doesn't want the baby.

And he does it. Just like that! He says he doesn't want the baby. He also says he's not ready.

But Destiny tells him that no one was ready and they've all gotten ready and she lists the names of all the people who were horrified by the whole thing who are now doing everything they can to help because they've adjusted, including Bo and Nora.

So she tells him she won't need him since she can do it on her own and she has the help of all those people.

She storms out and some girl comes up to her in the hallway and asks her if she's OK. Destiny kind of looks like she doesn't want to talk to her though. I have no idea what this part's about. Does anybody know?

Rex and Gigi and Shane and Roxy


Rex and Gigi are just arguing about whether he can still call her Morasco since the wedding. What if she changes her name to Balsom?


Suddenly Roxy comes over with all kinds of stuff.

She's throwing a party for the last episode of Fraternity Row, which is tomorrow.

Everyone is invited to dress as their favourite characters except that she has already claimed Lorraine and John and Natalie are coming as Brandon a Brianna because John and Natalie are the two most star-crossed lovers she has ever known.

That seems like a funny thing to say to Rex and Gigi.

Shane gets a letter. It's an acceptance to a prestigious school of art and animation in London, but he never applied to it.

Gigi reveals that she applied for him on his behalf over a year ago before the whole Stacy/basement incident.

She says she wants him to go. But she sees no reason they shouldn't all just move to London together!

Roxy has an uncomfortable look on her face. No one thought about the part where they'd be leaving her behind.

Vivian and Shaun


Vivian and Shaun have the same old argument: he wants to get married and she doesn't. It's not personal... she doesn't not want to marry him, she doesn't want to get married at all. She's not impressed that he got her an engagement ring or that he keeps bothering her about it or that he doesn't seem to try to understand.

They want different things. He wants to get married and have a family, she wants to not get married and to not repeat her parents' mistakes that she grew up with.

It seems like that's it for them!

Neela and Jack


Neela comes over to La Boulaie to have the world's most awkward conversation and try to explain to Jack that she's still interested in him.

So that should be remarkable...

Jack doesn't believe any of it and checks her bag for a tape recorder. Ha!

All through the conversation Neela tries to talk about wanting to help Shane and how she knows Jack is sorry for what he's done and he's changed and everything. But Jack just keeps talking about all the consequences on himself like the possible criminal charges for false confinement and how they could follow him permanently. He doesn't seem like he's very sorry or that he's glad that Gigi's really alive or that he's glad that his crimes went down from murder to false confinement... he only really seems to care about what it means to himself. Although he is a teenager and they have a way of thinking like that and he also is a Manning and he is also ridiculously self-centered so maybe that makes sense.

Neela tells him the whole story of how she dreamed of meeting a perfect American boy or whatever and she never thought she would meet him on her first day in Llanview... she also says that she still wants him despite everything he's done, a level of understanding required to have a relationship with a Manning. So that's something.

He almost seems like he's thinking about it.

Hey, what happened to the other kid that went to prison in Jack's place now that Gigi's not dead? Did they mention that part?

John and Natalie


John and Natalie finally sit down to talk about all the things they never get around to talking about. But it leads to an argument although that turns out to be OK because they really say everything they meant to say and express their feelings.

Then they get in bed and express a few more things.

They each tell the other that they love them and agree that it was all worth it.

Aaw.

I don't care what Natalie and John do but since they both irritate me to insane levels I think they make a good match and it's good to see them finally get together.

Celebrity Wife Swap Tuesday January 10 2012

Season 1 Episode 10, Flava Flav's fiancee and Dee Snider's Wife


Notes


OK, first of all I loved all the kids on this show.

But more than anything I loved Dee Snider's (from Twisted Sister) kids. They were so funny and Cody was quite sexy.

I didn't understand if the brother and his wife lived in the house or not though, they were always there.

I did not know what to make of Flava Flav's fiancee. If she had a name I didn't catch it because she has a way of just disappearing into the background.

Let's just call her "Flavette".

Anyway, what was up with her. She just wanted the whole thing to be a vacation?... She kept saying that over and over.

So basically every day her mom comes by and picks up her youngest kid and she spends the day crocheting once the house is empty. Pretty odd.

And then when she swaps and finds out that Dee Snider's wife, Suzette is super hands-on and a real Type A personality she can't handle it. Now I can see not knowing how to work a pressure washer, I certainly don't, and thinking it's a bit odd to style your 20-something year-old son's mohawk (does she do that every day?) but her constant remark about all of these things was just that she thought it would be more of a vacation.

A vacation from what though? Flava Flav seems to never be home and her mother takes her youngest child out of the house all day so she can crochet. What is this vacation from? Flava Flav?

I could almost see her ways of retreating and not really doing much with her family as a sort of defence mechanism from all of the crazy Flava Flav seems to put out.

He's just like Tracy Jordan, only they're not in a sit com.

You only know what they decide to show you on the show, obviously and not what really happened or what happens when they're home with no cameras but he struck me as the kind of guy that acts really charming and tells women what they think they want to hear and then kind of finds excuses to go do whatever he wants. That was certainly how he treated Suzette anyway: all charm at first and then see you later.

Suzette couldn't even get him to not leave the house in time for her to go with him or to show up at the appointed time for the rule change.

Although Flavette's rule change was basically: you guys do all the chores, I'm going to crochet.

I must say though that I wonder if she crochets with people at home ever. Because she crocheted with everyone in a group at Dee Snider's house and they didn't know what to do but everyone seemed to enjoy themselves and to want to try enjoying hanging out and doing the activity she's into.

Does she not share stuff like that at home with other people? Because she seemed to enjoy herself more after doing it with them and to open up a bit.

But that was pretty much all they showed of them... she gets them to do all the chores Suzette would normally do because she doesn't know how and neither do the kids and none of them want to learn and then they hang out the rest of the time and pretty much enjoy themselves.

But Suzette... yikes. Every complaint she made to Flavette's mom, she actually seemed to agree with, as though she knew her daughter was in a bad scene and hoped Suzette could do something about it.

And then at the end when they're all meeting, everything Suzette was saying about how terrible Flava Flav was Flavette seemed to be fascinated by. She didn't look like someone who was disagreeing or someone who was awkwardly aware that they were being told the truth they didn't want to admit to and looking away while she talked. She totally locked eyes with her the whole time and took it in and looked upset, like everything she was saying was something she had already been thinking but never said out loud before and maybe like she'd like to be more like Suzette and be able to stand up for herself.

And they just kind of leave it there.

One group enjoyed themselves. The other group didn't and they just argued until Suzette left the house and there you go.

That may be the first time I've ever seen anyone on one of these Wife Swap-type shows just move out of the house until the show's over. It may have happened before... who knows, but I've never seen anything like that.

I still feel this show is too short. Almost nothing happens and then it's over and they're just arguing for a while and you don't really feel that engaged by the argument. They need two episodes per swap. Or at least figure out a way to pace it better and have some more focus on what's going on in each episode.

MVP: Clearly Suzette. They should do a series where it's just her swapping with different people every week and the other people hang out with her family.

Best line: Flava Flav: I just went to get the baby some French Fries

One Life to Live Tuesday January 10 2012

Starr and Danielle and Todd


The headline on The Sun reads "RIP Cole Thornhart".

Starr has a copy of it at La Boulaie where she is with Todd when Danielle comes to the door.

Danielle can't believe Cole died and wants to know how Starr is taking it.

Starr tells Danielle that Cole isn't really dead.

Todd watches her tell Danielle that with a funny look on his face. Something's up.

After talking around it Starr finally decides to tell Danielle the truth, although Todd thinks she shouldn't.

Cole isn't dead.

At the hospital Starr convinced Todd to put one of his complicated plots in motion to fake Cole's death and actually send him away, never to be seen again.

The details of the plan are sketchy but basically Todd used Irene's CIA connections and the facility where he was held for eight years to hide Cole away until he can be reunited with Marty and Patrick.

That's a doubly-interesting element because Todd really owes Marty one (he owes her way more that that) and that's at least something he's done for her.

Basically when he saw how upset Starr was that Cole was going back to prison Blair tried to convince Starr that it was the right thing to do but Starr argued that even though Cole had killed someone there were circumstances that made it different and when she explained it Todd, who apparently didn't know much about the details, he was convinced that it was something like when he killed Irene and also he took into account that Cole had just taken a bullet for Starr. So in Todd's morally-ambiguous calculations that was worth something and he was going to help him fake his death and get away.

And so he did.

But the catch is Starr may not be able to see him again. Although you never know what might happen later.

This is an interesting little plot because if the show had continued online they could've picked up the story later on... but even though it's not, it gives you something to wonder about... what do you think ever happened with Cole and Starr?...

Starr thinks it's OK to tell Danielle because she's a manning and she's still trying to convince her to accept Todd as her father by showing he can help them and care about them as much as Victor did (and in equally odd, scandalous and legally questionable ways). Danielle could use the help making the leap because during her conversation with Starr Danielle keeps referring to Todd as "your dad" and Starr has to remind Danielle that Todd is also her dad.

Jessica and Ryder


At Llanfair, Jessica shows Ryder the front page of The Banner, which is covering Rob's death. So now we know it was Rob who died and not Cole (although most people think that they both died).

She's pretty sad, obviously.

She's angry at Rob for getting involved in the trouble with her and Mitch and Natalie and John but admits that he did save her.

Do you think she'll be broken up enough for Tess to come out? And maybe admit that she killed Victor? Just asking...

Later she's talking to Natalie and tells her that if she wants to help the most important thing she can do is find John and settle whatever is wrong between them because it's not worth it.

James and Nate


James and Nate are pretty shaken by Rob's death.

Nate reflects on how he never knew about Rob and James and how he thought they would have a lot of time to make up for it all while James says that he was mad at Rob for leaving him behind with Eddie but now understands that he had to and did make it up to him by helping him when he wanted to get out on his own.

Nate asks James how he found out what happened and James says he was already at the hospital and explains about Cole. Nate tries to help James out with the Starr and Cole thing although he knows he can't replace Rob.

James tells him that he overheard Starr saying she loves Cole and never stopped and never will.

Danielle and Starr arrive and Danielle and Nate go off and so Starr and James can be alone.

James wastes no time. He tells Starr it's over.

John and Natalie and Viki and Clint


John and Natalie go to see Viki and Clint in the hospital. They all agree that despite everything they are still glad Mitch is gone once and for all.

At least Ryder won't have to grow up always having Mitch as a threat.

John has some official business for Viki and Clint though. He would like to know why Allison went over to Llanfair. He says she went straight over after breaking out, like she must have had a reason.

Viki and Clint lie and say they don't know what she wanted and that she just talked a lot of crazy babble, which she actually did do while she was there.

When they're alone they agree to secretly have DNA testing done to settle the question of paternity once and for all. But they don't want anyone to know about it until they find out the truth. They can't have anymore dramas or upsets or let people get their hopes up about it until they find out one way or the other.

So Clint calls Vimal and Vimal says he'll do anything Victoria would like so long as it doesn't involve DNA, paternity tests or secrecy.

But it involves all three.

Clint gives Vimal a cheque that is apparently huge (Vimal says enough to send all of his and Rama's future children to college) if he'll help them.

So he agrees.

He'll compare Natalie's DNA to Clint's.

No, that's not right! They freak out.

But he was just joking.

Viki and Clint don't find it funny though.

"Too soon?" Vimal asks?

Tea and Blair and Todd and John


Blair is at the hospital looking for Tod's phone. He lost it there the night before.

She runs into Tea and tells her she's thinking about getting back together with Todd.

Tea tells her she's going to tell her the truth about Todd and she can't wait a minute more. But of course just at that moment Todd comes along and she can't tell her but instead has to cover by saying what she wanted to say was she's been upset lately with everything that's been happening and the hormones from the pregnancy and she really wants to apologize to Todd for how she's been acting. So that wasn't a great thing to have to say.

Later Tea runs into John, who has Todd's phone. He never lost it but John set it up to look that way.

He tells her he has a warrant to search and tap Todd's phone so anything they find can be used as evidence. All he has to do is get Todd's phone back to him. They've already downloaded all the information off it.

Tea offers to drop it off at the lost and found and eventually someone asks Todd if he's the one looking for his phone and gives it back to him, explaining it dropped off to the lost and found.

It's possible Tea did something to the phone in between but if she did we didn't see it.

So Todd has his phone back and he looks pretty relieved.

So there must be something on there he doesn't want anyone to find out about.

John and Natalie


John comes home and finds Natalie on his couch.

Are they finally going to have that talk or will she ruin it with something annoying again?

Since there's only three episodes left presumable they will get back together for real this time.